Breakup helpline for heart-sick Indians

Says a Mumbai marketing executive, who is rehabilitating miserable urban aashiqs with emails and a flowchart.
We manage to talk him into meeting us over coffee, even cajole him into posing for a picture (“No head-on shots, please”). But his last name, he just won’t share. Twenty-five-year-old marketing executive Ankit has a reason for being furtive.It’s been just three weeks since he launched an enterprise that’s private by character.
Breakuphelpine.com is a business model designed by the Andheri resident, his filmmaker friend and two psychologists to rehabilitate the heartbroken, equipping them to get on with their lives in just a month. Registration on their website promises jilted lovers a reply in 24 hours, and entitles them to 30 days of free emotional assistance via email. If they still yearn for handholding, intensive counselling sessions over mail, Skype and phone are available for a fee of Rs 2,500.
Is a corporate suit the best person to deal with matters of the heart? Without doubt, if he has been a ‘victim’ himself. A year-and-a-half ago, Ankit admits to going through a “particularly bad” break up. Everyone has a way of dealing with it. “I did it by running the Mumbai half marathon. After that, it was cooking, gardening and art appreciation workshops.”
Research involved speaking to psychologists and running a pilot survey among his young friends. And Breakup Helpline, a first service of its kind in India, was born. “Indians, even urban, aren’t comfortable with the idea of seeing a psychologist. We think it’s equal to admitting we are mental. I had to think up a way to disguise the therapy, making it casual and conversational,” says Ankit, whose core target customer is Indian (although 15 expats have signed up), aged 18 to 25, and may include divorcees.
The team wins its first battle if the lover agrees to send a detailed email. It means he is past the stage of denial. It’s a way of admitting that his relationship has ended, and he needs help. “Each lover is put in the custody of one member of the Breakup team from ‘devastation to rehabilitation’, and each case is customised to suit the client. The goal is to establish a relationship of trust,” says Ankit, drawing a flowchart to explain stages in the process. Getting clients to put their angst down in writing proves cathartic. While some enjoy the anonymity, others prefer to hear a voice, even if it’s just to ask them how their day went.
“But we aren’t playing friend. We are professionals, and we stay neutral. If you were dating a jerk, we will tell you. There was a client from Kolkata who admitted to cheating on his fiancée. We told him he had ruined the trust,” says Ankit. The challenge the team faces is to seek the “real story”. While expats have been expressive, Indian lovers need poking and prodding. “They’ll start by saying, ‘I am fine’,” and then somewhere down the line, break down.”
So, how long does it take to get over an ex? Ankit’s partners claim it’s two weeks, but anyone who has been through a failed relationship knows you never really get over it, feels Ankit. “The idea is to be able to look past your insecurities, and move on so you can find someone else or be happy by yourself,” he says. Young India appears to be casual about dating, finding no fault with flirting. “But they are secretly looking for someone special.
They still want to go home to someone they can cuddle. Everyone wants to be in love. Singles have no choice but to face social isolation.”
That the team is making money off someone’s trauma isn’t giving Ankit sleepless nights. “It’s in fact, the overwhelming number of lovers calling in that’s kept me awake the last few days,” he shares. It’s not social service, he says candidly. It’s a model to ease pain. “And it happens to be one that generates revenue.”
Top breakup reason
“We’ve had a large number of college romances souring after couples take up a job. Responsibilities change and careers take up a lot of time. Three factors are at play — work, love and family — and the priority we accord to each changes as we leave the nest and look to settle down,” says Ankit.
Yolande D’Mello @timesgroup.com